Truly Recession-Proof: If I worked for Tito’s Handmade Vodka February 13, 2009Posted by John Taylor in netbooks.
Tags: AMD Yukon, Austin, Del Inspiron 910, Grey Goose, HP DV2, Intel Atom N270, netbook, Nvidia Ion, Sam Elliott, Shelley Duvall, Texas Hill Country, Tito's Handmade Vodka
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Pre-reading: See JTRex’s Law. “Men are visual. Men like things big. Men know value when they see it.”
Earlier this week I read a reference to the Intel Atom netbook processor as “recession proof.” I think for anything to be recession proof, it must offer bullet-proof value.
I know the AMD Yukon platform and upcoming HP DV2 will offer bulletproof value as an ultraportable notebook after using one extensively at CES 09. Gorgeous HD visual computing, man-size keyboard. But light and sleek like a Trek racing bicycle made from carbon fiber.
This weekend, I borrowed a new Intel Atom N270 powered Dell Inspiron 910 netbook from Patrick Moorhead. My intent is to keep my knowledge of netbooks and ultrathins sharp.
But I can already tell you, no way in hell would I want to write this blog on that netbook (or others like it; the Dell I believe is a cut above the current netbook crowd). I know this isn’t breaking news, but I can quickly categorize it as purely a Web consumption device. And as an aficionado for 3D visual computing, after 30 minutes I was left craving my self-built desktop with its bright 19” NEC Multisync 90GX display like no notebook ever left me.
While I do believe that some things are recession-proof, I stand convinced that for netbooks and affordable ultrathins to achieve anything like the 100+ million units projected in the next few years, the category desperately needs AMD and Nvidia. Intel knows how to make tiny cheap CPUs – give them credit. But Intel is lost when it comes to 3D and visual computing.
This generation of netbooks simply don’t offer bullet-proof value in my book. But the potential is there with a little help from the visual computing experts and a man-sized keyboard. (Men either type with our thumbs like we’re snuffing out hot embers, or we want a big keyboard with room. Anything in between is just effeminate.)
Also considered recession-proof yet proven to actually be so during the 20th century? Spirits.
So if I worked for Austin, Texas-made Tito’s Handmade Vodka, I’d launch a “Real men don’t use netbooks. Real men drink Tito’s.” campaign to uplift economically downtrodden tech industry workers with my six-times-distilled spirit. It would go something like this:
(Read this section as though it were a Sam Elliott voiceover).
Why is Tito’s Handmade vodka my brand of choice in tough times?
- Pour yourself a glass of what the Wall Street Journal calls “America’s first craft sippin’ vodka” and visualize yourself surveying a sunset in the Texas Hill Country where this one-of-a-kind vodka was made.
- For $30 bucks in Austin, Texas, you can buy nearly two liters of “Double Gold World Spirits” Tito’s Handmade Vodka. That’s a big bottle, no compromises, no regrets.
- See the value. Although a first-rate vodka, Tito’s doesn’t resort to ensnaring you with pretty pictures of flying French geese or fancy frosted bottles with necks like Shelley Duvall. With Tito’s you get a glass-bottom-boat-sized view of your exceptionally distilled and cleansed vodka. No more, no less.
Super Bowl Certainties February 1, 2009Posted by John Taylor in Uncategorized.
Tags: advertising, Austin, Budweiser, InBev, Super Bowl, Turkey Trot
Today I’m going to gear up for the Super Bowl the way I gear up for Thanksgiving. I think of it as giving yourself a knowing hall pass to eat anything you want the rest of the day. Before many a Thanksgiving, I run the Austin 5 mile Turkey Trot early in the morning. Then I abuse myself with rolls, asparagus in cheese sauce, pickles, olives, apple pie and the like the rest of the day.
Today, the day of Super Bowl XLIII, I will go for a run then help my wife’s friend move for about 5 hours, right up to game time. (or pre-game time. Does anyone ever really know when the Super Bowl will kick-off?). Then, with what I will consider hard-earned self-satisfaction, I’ll unleash the hounds of hell on my stomach in the form of Super Bowl snacking. Third bowl of chili? Why yes, yes I will. More seven layer Tex-Mex dip? Yes, I think there’s room on my plate next to the little smoked sausages.
On my run and while lifting (from a bent-leg position) someone else’s armoire and dining set, I’ll have plenty of opportunity to ponder these two Super Bowl certainties:
- I will remark to no one in particular at least five times during the game: “I can make a better commercial than that. I can’t believe they paid some agency to make that commercial then paid NBC a million dollars to air it.” I will mostly say this about beer commercials. Remember the flatulent horse? The clown drinking through its crotch? Less thirsty after those two images? Intriguing Super Bowl XLIII subtext: Will we see a different Budweiser this year now that they are owned by Belgium conglomerate InBev? Will base-humor Budweiser show a more sophisticated and worldly Eurostyle? If you call Clydesdales & Conan sophisticated, the answer is yes.
- Despite much encouragement and prodding from me, no one in tomorrow’s Monday 10 a.m. staff meeting will remark on the striking similarities between Kurt Warner’s success story, and my own. I too bagged groceries, only at age 16 for Winn Dixie in Brandon, Florida. Like Kurt, I too went on to something much better than grocery bagging. Kurt is QB for a surprisingly competitive NFL team. I’m PR for a surprisingly competitive member of the SIA. I too have a four letter monosyllabic first name. Come on, isn’t this eerie? Like that Kennedy/Lincoln thing? No?